I have always thought I wanted three kids, or at least two, but lately, I have been feeling like Poppy might be my one and only….and, surprisingly, I’m ok with that.

If I am honest with myself, I have always harbored a (admittedly unfair and unkind) bias against people with secondary infertility who were willing to go to any length to have a second (or, even worse, a third or fourth) kid. I’m not proud of that, and I can’t logically defend my feelings—after all, who says that any IFer only deserves one kid? But honestly, as a pretty young person with primary infertility, it sometimes struck me as ungrateful, and maybe a teensy bit greedy, to be attending fertility appointments with a toddler in tow.

In spite of my judgment about other people, I did always think I’d be back at the fertility clinic for another go-round. Here are some reasons I am considering NOT doing so:

1. The ability to be the kind of parent I want to be to Poppy. Just personality-wise, I don’t think I would make a good SAHM, and the husband and I have a much better chance of attending every significant event in our kid’s life if he’s our only kid.

2. The golden handcuffs get a little looser. Right now, we both have big jobs, and we’re not big spenders. We save a lot. Kids are expensive, though, and if we had three, we’d for sure want to keep said big jobs so we could fully fund college, etc. We have a better chance of being able to switch to less high-pressure/lower-paying jobs if we only have one kid, and then we’d have more time to spend with the kid. Win/win!

3. The husband and I feel incredibly lucky to have Poppy, and neither of us is particularly inclined to enter into multiple courses of IUI or IVF (we would both be a few years older, so I am assuming we would need this) and the accompanying daily appointments that would cut down on the time we have available to spend with our son.

4. We could stay in NYC. Three bedroom apartments are few and far between, making staying in Manhattan a losing proposition if you have more than one kid. I realize this one sounds a little shallow. It’s a little less so because I grew up in another borough of New York, and my parents and family remain nearby and are unlikely to leave. So it’s not just the awesomeness of the city and the allure of raising a bona fide city kid that attracts me…though that’s a big part of it, too. :-)